You're so nebulous sometimes
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
