Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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