margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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