gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
