I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize