Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
What drink are we having for lunch?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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