I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
