I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
