I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
