i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
