u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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