Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
