Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
