Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
