then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
