what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
