honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I had to cum in my sink.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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