why didn't you poke me back
Buhtt sex?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
