and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
