I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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