this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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