he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
