jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
