Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
