mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize