I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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