the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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