My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
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Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
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I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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