my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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