Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize