Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
