so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
