I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
