This girl is more easily done than said...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
