How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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