so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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