Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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