Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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