VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
