I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
