we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
