Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
