Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
