I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I party with great urgency now.
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