Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
