honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
