When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
