I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
