Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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