How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
