love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
