the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
it's great music for shaving your balls
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
