According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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