maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
im having a threesome with these popsicles
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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