I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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