just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
