I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
How's work?
Spinning.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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