I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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