sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
