i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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